And Will the Real Wife Please Stand Up

Many times in my life, I wonder how a wife is supposed to act. Being a wife, I'm often confused as to what I'm supposed to be doing. Coming on 20 years you'd think I'd be an expert. Unfortunately, this whole wife thing seems to be an on-going learning experience (sorta like a doctorate program - seemed like a good idea, but you never are able to get past the data collection).

Take house cleaning for example. When I think of the ideal of a wife I'm sorta stuck in the 50's. I think of someone taking care of her husband, just finishing up dusting with a smile on her face and dinner on the table; this simply is not me. I am the worlds worst housekeeper. Let's face it, I'm a slob.

Don't get me wrong, I like clean just like anyone else; that's why I stay in hotels so much. However, I have trouble with the whole pick up after myself process. My husband is less of a slob than me. I can out slob him any day of the week. Part of my problem is a complicated emotional issue that I don't want to be my husbands keeper...OK that's a lie, I'm just plain lazy.

My husband is coming home tomorrow after a 2 week business trip in China. For the last 2 weeks, he has had someone picking up after him, cooking his meals, doing his laundry, and has been living in a clean space. I on the other hand, have been living with...well, me. I sure hope he isn't expecting to come home to a space like his hotel room. Sure I'm planning to do the dishes, vacuum the dog hair, heck, I may go so far as to pick up my bra and socks that are lying on the coffee table. Part of me feels that I should just leave the house the way it is so that he feels at home when he gets here, but the other part feels a little guilty for letting the mess build up over the last two weeks. So, clean I will.

Perhaps a real wife keeps her husband guessing. If that's the case, I should really clean this house. He will wonder what the heck is up with me if he walks in and the place is immaculate. When he asks me, I'll just tell him that a real wife is full of surprises and is spontaneous....and oh, by the way I have a dog show the day after he arrives home, do you think he'll be surprised about that?